There are many ways to send a message. You can make a call, write a letter, send a wire…oops that was in Grandma’s day, bless her poor murdered by Democrats heart. Today IM, 140 word missives, thumb tomes and assault rifles rule the day. Assault rifles? Yes, assault rifles.

An AR message has such an interpretative quality. The user demonstrates he or she understands the power of a basic black accessory and its ability to be a message of the user’s choosing. It can speak to freedom as in I have this fucking assault rifle. It can speak to stature as in mine is bigger than yours. It can even speak to judgment as in I have none because I bring an assault rifle to public events, you may want to hide the children. I’m the man!

It is, of course, possible an AR message is intended as intimidation. And who better to intimidate then the President of the United States. As a loyal American isn’t it your right to intimidate the President? Isn’t it your right to distract protective services from other threats so that you can prove to your buddies you got “balls?” Didn’t you hear for one of your leaders, Rush or Glenn or anyone of those other megastars, that Obama is a fascist, socialist, gun stealing, som of a bitch foreigner who wasn’t even born here, who’s trying to kill your Grandma? Isn’t it your right to believe any bullshit any millionaire tells you?

In this fast moving culture where today is yesterday and instant gratification isn’t fast enough what’s next? Perhaps the IED message or the Tim McVeigh message, ever gaining in popularity, or even the new fly in plastique on a RC blackhawk message. Let’s get to work so we can be out front, we can be hot, we can be so today! It’s our right, dammit, so let’s innovate America. There are so many messages and so little time.

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"Messages" by was published on August 18th, 2009 and is listed in Barack Obama, Moron America, Satire.

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