In response to criticism Michael Steele has announced new rules for fundraising by the RNC. In a statement today the chairman decried previous efforts, “We can’t do it that way,” he said, “or at least we can’t get caught at it.” Asked if “getting caught” was motivation for the new rules Steele maintained, “If you get exposed you need make sure to pull up your pants first.”

New fundraising procedures include mandatory approval of all new campaigns by a committee as yet unnamed by Mr. Steele. The group, outlined in an RNC white paper, reportedly is called ‘Feed the Elephant’ according to insiders. Some new rules outlined in the white paper include:

  • Don’t taunt donors, they’re paranoid enough as is.
  • You can’t make an omelet without breaking a few egos.
  • Wear belts at all times.

The new procedures received mixed reviews from republican operatives. One quoted anonymously said, “It’s a white paper. That’ll do well in my district.”

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"New Rules" by was published on March 9th, 2010 and is listed in republicans, RNC, Satire.

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