In order to insure party discipline and financial stability the RNC has proposed embedding microchips in the middle finger of supporters’ right hands. “We’ll pass on talking points at night and get money during the day,” said RNC Chairman Michael Steele. “All you have to do is flash your middle finger and we tap into your bank account.”

Asked how the RNC would determine when someone wants to contribute rather than make an obscene gesture Steele said, “Every time a liberal makes you give them the finger you’ll be donating a hundred bucks to us.” He added, “To avoid problems for masturbaters we equipped the chip with a satisfaction override setting.”

Would party members object to the big brother, big government aspect of an implant? “We’re going to tell them it’s a receiver for Fox News updates,” said the Chairman.

The RNC will begin distributing “Freedom Chips” to Health Care Reform hating Doctors early next month.

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"Freedom Chips" by was published on April 20th, 2010 and is listed in republicans, RNC, Satire.

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