3/2/2017 – Where is the AHCA bill?
Gonna be a long day: GOP ACA replacement bill reportedly on the phone with a pizza delivery place

Breaking: While searching basement of Capitol for GOP’s healthcare bill aide finds Jimmy Hoffa

Breaking: WH says Media’s use of words like ‘recuse’ make the President’s head hurt

At the WH Easter egg roll a this year will Trump require Sean Spicer to reprise his bunny gig?

Report: On flight to Florida Donald Trump realizes they haven’t stocked cheeseburgers. Asks if he can order for in flight delivery

Report: Donald Trump tweets that today’s bowel movement was ‘So great.’ Breitbart proclaims America is saved

Breaking: Donald J. Trump demands Congress impeach Barack Obama. Jason Chaffetz agrees to hold hearings

Report: Nine out of ten doctors say Trump’s early morning tweetstorms may be the result of Morning Wood Envy

Report: Unhappy White House demands Trump surrogates defend him to the death. “He’s offering a really nice bonus,” says Spox

Trump supporter offers cattle to President for the making of hamburgers. Asked why just burgers he said, “Steers hate ketchup on steak.”

With parole of O.J. Simpson possible later this year will the White House ask Congress to find the real killer?

Ben Carson calls Slaves ‘Immigrants.’ Can you imagine how his patients feel after hearing that kind of stupid?

Breaking: The WH is urgently seeking ways to keep Trump’s tie in place. “It’s troubling him that people can see it’s made in China,” Spox

Report: In addition to investigating Obama wiretapping & WH leaks Trump has requested Congress declare his ties from China made in America

Once the embodiment of ‘Fake it till you make it’ Donald Trump is now ‘Fake it till you break it’

Source: New plaque spotted on President Trump’s desk in the Oval “The Buck Stops in My Pocket”

GOP took what 4 years to promise a faster, stronger, more handsome #Trumpcare and all we get is this piece of crap?

The problem with Ryan’s Trumpcare bill is that Club for Growth, Freedom Works and Heritage don’t find it vile enough

Trumpcare because it’s all about his profit and your loss

Breaking: The Trump administration has given up truth for lent

Trump admin to replace National Endowment for the Arts with Velvet Elvis print and Dogs Playing Cards litho

3/9/2017 – Ryan defends Trumpcare
In a perfect world we’d all be wondering what a screwed up world would be like

Report: GOP addresses high cost of healthcare by requiring each family to include at least one doctor and one candy stripper

3/13/2017 – KellyAnne Conway says watch out for the microwave
Sean Spicer says you can trust Trump ‘if he’s not joking’ If Donald Trump wants to make jokes let him go to the WHCA dinner.

My iPhone promised to order me chicken soup when I get sick while on Trumpcare

Can you imagine what the viewers of Fox News are asking their microwaves and toasters about now?

Rep. Steve King demands US weather service not categorize tomorrow’s blizzard as a whiteout. “No, no, no,” says Spox

Some reports say that under AHCA consumers will be able to get inexpensive health insurance direct from Russia

3/16/2017 – Trump’s first budget
Breaking: White House accuses Obama of using Leprechauns to spy on Trump

I think Mulvaney’s definition of ‘compassionate’ doesn’t track with many decent Americans

Oh, oh, looks like Sean Spicer is getting ready to use the podium as a weapon

Sign seen at the Pearly Gates: If You Are Sent To Hell It’s Not The Media’s Fault

World leaders should learn from Donald Trump’s appearances with Angela Merkel, don’t appear with Donald Trump

Jefferson Davis sues Donald Trump for unauthorized use of Southern White House. Seeks damages, “And not with Confederate money either.”
After Trump is impeached and convicted perhaps we should seize Mar-A-Lago and sell it for back expenses

Report: Donald Trump’s EO on coal mining requires everyone buy a coal scuttle, fill it with money and drop it off at a Trump property

US to ban electronic devices of some on flights to US. Under cover terrorist, “Excuse me sir, can I borrow your cell phone?” Blows up plane

3/21/2017 – Trump’s approval rating has hit a record low
Expect to see the Trump administration ‘tapp’ dancing around yesterday’s bad news

Report: Rep. Devin Nunes hired as spokesman for Deer in The Headlights Inc. Working on deal with Consternation ‘R Us

Halfway expect #GOP to sneak a provision into #AHCA mandating insurance companies reimburse for conversion therapy

3/24/2017 – Trumpcare goes down in flames
Thank goodness #GOP pulled the vote. I’m not sure I could handle anymore winning…oh, wait #TrumpFail

MarALargo has been told they better warm up Trump’s Emotional Support Golf Cart

Sean Spicer was so sure Trumpcare would pass he had the Press Room podium tuned up for a victory lap

Source: To garner support for his agenda Donald Trump looking to lure moderate Democrats with deep discounts on golf club memberships

Spox: “President Trump never said ‘I alone can fix it.’ What he meant was if Congress and the Courts won’t do as I say that he’d blame them”

3/29/2017 – Nunes defends himself
News from 2048: GOP promises this is the year they will really, really repeal and replace Obamacare #CrossTheirHeart

This Halloween I’m going as Repeal and Replace. Won’t have to do a thing to get ready and don’t have to show up

3/30/2017 – First Senate Intel Committee public hearing
Report: Some are asking if a rumored ‘Special Place in Hell’ hotel will have Trump branding

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