Dejected bots victimized by #TwitterLockOut seen boarding Aeroflot flights. “We go home for to get new assignments,” said one Achmed the Dead Terrorist might be the perfect comedian for @realDonaldTrump at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner… although seeing a talking puppet may hit too close to home Breaking: Buses seen lining up near WH. “They’re […]

Report: Interviews with this year’s graduating class at Betsy DeVos Sr. High School reveal students who display an amazing array of small word sentences and a total lack of intellectual curiosity Report: Although he won’t be campaigning for Roy Moore the president will be spending more time at Mar-a-Largo talking to his portrait How soon […]

3/2/2017 – Where is the AHCA bill? Gonna be a long day: GOP ACA replacement bill reportedly on the phone with a pizza delivery place Breaking: While searching basement of Capitol for GOP’s healthcare bill aide finds Jimmy Hoffa Breaking: WH says Media’s use of words like ‘recuse’ make the President’s head hurt 3/3/2017 At […]

2/11/2017 – N. Korean missile launch Sources: Aides working with Trump on Twitter response to N. Korean missile launch. So far they have “very, very bad.” Working on rewrite President demands Air Force use drones to deliver discount Trump Tower taco bowls to bases. Says Spicer, “He supports the troops.” Report: Donald Trump orders DARPA […]

2/10/2017 The Time Lords should declare four years have passed and that Trump’s time as President is over Each time Betsy DeVos tries to visit a school she should be required to spell a series of multi-syllable words for entry Breaking: WH house says if Carl Higbie appointed Press Secretary each daily session will begin […]