Outrage from pundits about Trump's golfing would increase exponentially if only Obama would tag along

2/11/2017 – N. Korean missile launch
Sources: Aides working with Trump on Twitter response to N. Korean missile launch. So far they have “very, very bad.” Working on rewrite

President demands Air Force use drones to deliver discount Trump Tower taco bowls to bases. Says Spicer, “He supports the troops.”

Report: Donald Trump orders DARPA to create golf balls he can control with his mind. “I’ll call it the Trump Ball,” he thinks

2/13/2017 – Flynn Resigns
Half way expect to hear Flynn is now in line to be U.S. Ambassador to Russia

2/14/2017 – SBA confirmed
Report: Concerned by the controversy surrounding Gen. Flynn’s resignation GOP has announced an investigation into who stole Brady’s jersey

Linda McMahon promises that every road block she encounters at SBA will be wrestled to the ground or hit on the head with a chair

Fortunately Sean Spicer didn’t find it necessary to make use of his motorized podium today, but be warned…

2/15/2017 – Puzder withdrawns
Trump: I like the 2 state, but the 1 state is also that. Then there’s the 2 for 1 state. We were successful with that at the Trump Grill

Breaking: Trump administration looking to replace Labor Secretary nominee with an even more odious choice

Report: Jason Chaffetz says he investigated the Russian connection to America during a visit to Alaska. “I couldn’t see it,” he said

Breaking: Internet war being waged with Snowflakes. Injures are described as chilling

Trump turns down ESPN request to do NCAA brackets. WH says it hopes to work with ESPN later, perhaps to kick democracy down the road

Report: WH may not fill all its Ambassadorial openings. “Billionaires don’t want to go where there’s no valet yacht parking,” says aide

2/16/2017 – Trump Presser
Could “I’m not ranting and raving” be the new “I am not a crook?” #welltunedmachine

2/18/2017 Rally Florida
After Trump is impeached will he still market Mar-A-Lago as the Southern White House?
Wait doesn’t Jefferson Davis have a trademark on it?

2/19/2017 Last night in Sweden
Report: The WH has requested that after ‘Hail to the Chief’ the Marine Band play ‘Everything is Awesome’ to honor Trump’s well-oiled machine


The Time Lords should declare four years have passed and that Trump’s time as President is over

Each time Betsy DeVos tries to visit a school she should be required to spell a series of multi-syllable words for entry

Breaking: WH house says if Carl Higbie appointed Press Secretary each daily session will begin with 40 pushups

To offset the cost of Prime Minister Abe’s visit to Mar-a-Lago Donald Trump will sell commemorative Origami copies of the Constitution

Trump as Vizzini in Princess Bride
Man in Black: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
Trump: Wait till I get going! Now, where was I?


Source: Trump tells aide to copyright Easy D. Aide tells Pres. can’t profit from office. After much laughter they move on to the next EO

Breaking: Betsy DeVos’ new slogan for US Dept. of Ed. “Cash before Children”


Soon? New EO from Donald Trump banning criticism of President on Twitter & other social media. “It’s in the Constitution,” says Sean Spicer


What’s the over/under on when UN headquarters will be moved out of the US?

Asked why Steve Bannon’s appointment to NSC hasn’t been revoked Sean Spicer says Bannon told Trump the EO is non-refundable

By the time they get to the WH to celebrate their Super Bowl Donald Trump will be personally responsible the Patriots win


Breaking News: Pro-Trump protesters rallying outside of Trump Tower promised a week at Mar-a-Lago, airfare not included

Heroes are remembered today; those who served so we might live free. I can’t imagine what it must be like to go into battle, to risk it all. I haven’t, but I have intersected with those who did. Today it is my honor to say thank you to them all.

I enjoy the freedom they and those who gave their life insured for me. My thank you seems so hollow.

Mr. Tom Lee of Grand Rapids, MI says the government owes him $25 Million because he helped find Osama bin Laden.

I helped too by pointing at the TV in 2001 screaming “He’s in the Tora Bora mountains you fools!” Later it was revealed to be true.
In 2003 I warned the TV “He’s not in Iraq stupid!” He wasn’t in Iraq.
And in 2005 the TV was once again the focus of my anger as I bellowed “He’s in Pakistan!” Yep, right again.

So where’s my money?

Following his release from the hospital for treatment of a broken arm Sheriff Joe Arpaio appears to be his usual self. Asked how the “toughest sheriff in America” was doing with recovery Arpaio’s spokesman proclaimed, “He’s in good spirits and will be back at his job protecting America.”

The author of a local republican blog reveals the Sheriff’s next move, “He’s going to breakup the sidewalk where he fell breaking his arm and ship it across the border.” Another local republican blamed it on Arpaio haters, “Out of state, paid flunkies created a vicious wind by flapping their petitions and knocking him down. Of course the Democratic Senator who tripped him didn’t help.” Asked how that could have happened the official responded, “They’re gunning for him, but Sheriff Joe doesn’t succumb to paper cuts. He will prevail.”

“I’ve fallen and you won’t get up,” said the intrepid Sheriff.

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